where it all started

hi, I'll give you a little background on myself:


31 year old mother of 2, a 9 year old boy who is amazing and very academic and a 5 year old girl who is a wild child with an attitude to entertain daily. i am a photography student going into the first year of my degree and who has a job teaching pole fitness. i started that job around 4 years ago after falling in love with the sport. The love affair happened quickly and became all consuming.  the love of bruises and blisters where like a little personal trophies i carried around with me, the soreness from classes left me exhausted but content.

After 4 years i became a little numb to the classes, the blisters had long gone, the bruises no more and  i just felt lethargic rather than refreshed, my love story with my favourite hobby had just become my job...

i was desperate to have some kind of challenge again, some thing that pushed me and made me feel strong and gain some control. i got in touch with someone who had just won her first competition in a local figure comp, i wanted to train properly but had all these pre conceived ideas about what "those" kinda gyms would be like, massive guys posing and throwing massive weights around, perma tans and skimpy bikinis...i was wrong, so bloody wrong.

 we met for coffee and i sat there trying to converse while being unable to keep eye contact as i was drawn to her massive frame and muscles in places i have never seen before we chatted for an hour or so and i can't really remember much of the conversation but some how during that chatting i had agreed to meet up and try out training, she told me "it really isn't for everyone" and i know now it really isn't.

i walked in and felt very insecure, my frame although always slightly bigger than the average girl was nothing in this place. luckily for me though the gym was quiet (the beauty of a day time work out).
we went through a session and i was hooked, i could hardly lift my upper body, every thing felt like jelly and this was it....this was the new affair. i was cheating on my once beloved pole with a new exciting prospect that was fun, exhilarating and left me weak and exhausted..just what i needed. the place was filled with inspiring people from from 80 year olds to people with disabilities, all pushing and striving to be the best they could. no one was judging you and the support and camaraderie was intense.  no one cared when you scream out in pain and frustration.

after a few sessions and a bit of coaxing from Mrs Muscles and her trainer who we can call The Leg destroyer, i agreed to take part in the same local comp that that Mrs Muscles won that got us chatting. i had no idea what so ever what it would entail but going in blind i just said yeah sure!!

Now I'm 26 weeks away from my first comp, i have 10 weeks left of bulking and then the cut starts.

so I'm gonna write all my thoughts and stuff here, from crying through training sessions to having to self medicate to sleep. if it happens I'll write it, I'll be honest and you can come along with me for the ride.