so what happens now???

eeeehhhh as i breath in a sigh of relief and look back over the weekend, trying to process the whole thing i have some odd thoughts.....firstly woo hoo i won....all that hard work, all those tears, all the crawling after legs...was worth it, i actually won at some thing, FUCK YEAH!!


then comes the weird stuff....what now? today is the day i feel a bit more normal, so now i can get my head around it. yesterday i felt empty and a bit numb....people asked me how do you feel and all i could say was "overwhelmed" because i didn't want to say i felt empty, a bit lost and generally a bit crappy. every thing i had focused on for a year had been and gone and so did my direction. who was i now? what do i do?

i had around 6 hours sleep over the whole weekend and was exhausted and depleted. i was in uni first thing Monday morning and just had to suck it all up.

today iv spoke to my trainer and now know what needs to be worked on and whats happening and feel so much better knowing i have some time to kick back and chill and then get back to normal again,


I'm feeling myself again, i feel mega proud that we achieved this, its a total joint effort. i feel he did more than me, i just did what i was told like a little robot, do this, eat this, drink this...like a little Frankenstein creation! but we fucking won... did it!












so here goes a week off to chill, then 2016......i'm freaking coming
for ya you filthy bastard

Stacey x